To Spank or Not to Spank: Is that the Issue?

I read a Christianity Today article recently that challenges Christians to reconsider the biblical appropriateness of spanking their children. I must confess, the article in the blogosphere is quite old – January 16, 2012 (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2012/january/editorial-spanking-abuse.html). It’s amusing to me that this article was written on one of my three children’s birthdays and that my wife and I practice biblical spanking.

The article begins by citing two sensational accounts of supposedly Christian parents who practiced corporal discipline on their children. These illustrations are sensational because CT made the point that both of these children were adopted (which I can empathize with as all three of my children are adopted) and that both of these children died as a result of their parents’ “discipline.” CT goes on to say, “It is a mistake to portray Christian critics of spanking as feckless liberals just as it is wrong to label Christian advocates of spanking as abusive fundamentalists.” I would agree, but ask if that is the real issue. CT gets to the heart of their editorial’s purpose when they cite author William J. Webb’s work Corporal Punishment in the Bible (InterVarsity Press), in which Webb uses a less than literal hermeneutic to reinterpret corporal punishment of children, especially as it relates to the book of Proverbs. Spring-boarding from Webb’s conclusions, CT states, “The Bible never forbids spanking. But Webb's case is convincing that the Bible does not require it.”

There lies the rub. For the Christian who desires to raise children who are Godly, faithful, and well-balanced members of society, what does the Bible say about spanking?

Before we look at what the Bible says about disciplining our children, I want to build a few fences. Since this is a public article and I do not know your preconceptions concerning discipline, I have to say a couple of things to protect myself from false accusation.  These statements may also protect you from misapplication of the principles in this article.

1. Nothing God says in His word and nothing I say in this article makes allowance for true child abuse.  Jesus was a protector of little children and we should be as well.  Anyone who truly abuses a child deserves everything the law can throw at them.  To permanently injure a child for any reason is a wicked act and it deserves swift and exact punishment.
2. Spanking can be misused in many ways.  Love must still be the primary factor in dealing with any child.  Spanking can be too harsh, too inconsistent, too late, too hasty and too much.  The fact that you spank your children does not make you a godly or righteous parent.  You must use God’s wisdom and always deal with the child for his own good.  And I, for one, do not want to deal with any lawsuits where you use me as an excuse for abusing or mistreating your children.
3. The only absolute authority for how to raise children is to be found in God’s word—the Bible – and it’s consistent and honest application. I may make mistakes and teach things incorrectly.  Do not look on me as the final authority.  However, God’s word is always true.  Raise your children according this Book and God will honor His word.

 So, let’s get back to our topic. 

Is Spanking Required by the Bible?

The book of Proverbs has, perhaps, the most to say about child rearing and corporal discipline (which I greatly prefer to spanking in this context which I will explain later). A normal, literal reading of passages such as Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 23:13; and 29:15 seem to imply that corporal discipline is required by believers. Is it really required for believers?

One must understand Proverbs before we can answer that question. A proverb is a concise, memorable saying, usually in poetic form, expressing a generally accepted observation about life as filtered through biblical revelation Not always is a proverb prescriptive in nature. Rather, the biblical proverb is intended to provide an observation about life from God’s perspective. That said some proverbs are prescriptive in nature, though most are merely instructional observations about life.

With regard to the passages listed above, only one of the four would be considered prescriptive (23:13); the remainder would be instructional. Taking these four verses as illustrative of the rest of Proverbial teaching on the subject, we can conclude a couple of things with regard to our topic: [1] Parental discipline is required by God in order to properly rear children, and [2] corporal discipline (including spanking) is a God-ordained tool to be used in the discipline process. According to Proverbs, a believer cannot properly rear his children without corporal discipline, which would include the proper use of spanking.

 

Why Should a Christian Spank?

Some might object to corporal discipline (spanking) on the grounds of its misuse by Christians, as did the CT article referenced above. Spanking has been misused by many Christians (as well as non-Christians), and sometimes constitutes child abuse. Does that mean the misapplication of biblical truth by some mandates its abandonment by all? God forbid!

First and foremost, not using corporal discipline (spanking) strips the faithful parent of the only specifically biblically authorized disciplinary tool God has ordained for them to use in their child rearing arsenal; effectively nullifying parental authority in the discipline process. Secondly, when used in the context of a nurturing, loving home, corporal discipline can have very positive results. Of course, when it’s used in anger and bitterness, it can harm children psychologically, emotionally, and physically; constituting child abuse in my estimation. However, when done well, corporal discipline (spanking) helps children grow in respect and self-control absent any implied abusiveness.

 

How Should Spanking Be Used?

James Dobson advocates the use of corporal discipline on children only until age five, and then more creative, rational methods thereafter. I can see the logic behind Dobson’s teaching in this. If a parent employs consistent corporal discipline with their children when they are in their most formative years (1-5) then the necessity for it wanes in older childhood and beyond. While Dobson’s suggestion is a nice rubric on the matter, I would not, however, make it a hard and fast rule. Sometimes, children beyond age five require corporal discipline; depending on the offense.

Proverbs speaks of the use of “rods” and other disciplinary implements. It also centers the discipline on the action of the child (e.g. “foolishness”) not on the person of the child. I believe this to be instructive. The wise parent will use something external to himself when administering corporal discipline (spanking). Why? Children have a tendency to fixate on the object, not the person. Thus, their fear of being spanked centers on the “paddle” and not the parent. Furthermore, when done properly, corporal discipline centers on the unacceptable behavior, not on the person of the child. When this happens, children are reassured that their parents are not displeased with them, but with their unacceptable actions. While they understand that it is mom or dad doing the spanking and to whom they owe their obedience and respect, it is the actual paddle they will fear and that there is no reason for fear of the unacceptable action stops. Children must be taught that certain actions are unacceptable; reaping negative consequences, but that their parental love and acceptance as persons is not jeopardized despite the need for corporal discipline. Parents’ hands ought to be dispensaries of love, comfort, and trust. Psychologically separating these is quite effective and necessary in the disciplinary process. 

Again, Dobson advocates no more than one or two swats per incidence, and maybe that’s a good rule of thumb. Scripture never says how many swats per spanking. Proverbs does speak of bruising and wounds. Anyone who has ever used corporal discipline on young children knows that it doesn’t take much to leave a bruise on a toddler’s buttocks. A slight bruise on the fleshy buttocks that goes away in a few hours is perfectly acceptable and expected. Bruising that lasts for days or striking a child anywhere but the buttocks (which seems to be created for just this purpose) is abhorrent and abusive. It is perhaps best to let the offense determine the severity of swats; something which should be agreed upon by parents prior to the administration of the afore mentioned swats. Thus, the child is aware that if they do “x” it will incur one swat, “y” incurs two, etc. with a cap on the number not exceeding five for older children I would say.

 

Is Spanking My Only Recourse in Disciplining?

Of course not! Corporal discipline (spanking) is a tool of last resort. If appropriate, faithful parents can employ a variety of creatively corrective methods with their children. I do not believe corporal discipline should ever be the first line of defense when correcting children.

When one looks at Proverbs, the verses which mention corporal discipline often also mention “fools” or “foolishness,” which implies a habitual non-compliance and outright rebellion on the child’s part. It does not imply the occasional disobedience, minor infraction, or oversight from the child.  There is a secular proverb I would bring to your attention that is quite apropos here, “The punishment must fit the crime.” Let me reiterate. Parents must agree on these things as far ahead of time as possible and proactively instruct their children in this realm, rather than angrily react to their actions.

 

What Purpose Does Spanking Serve Anyway?

I’ve alluded to it several times in this post, but let me say it forthrightly. Corporal discipline is not punitive in nature, but reassurent and corrective. Hebrews 12:7-8 reminds believers that God’s discipline (“chastening” – GK: παιδείας meaning “the rearing of a child, the corporal discipline used with children”) provides a level of reassurance that they are the legitimate children of God. Why? Only one’s true parent may appropriately and effectively discipline his child. Furthermore, verses 9-11 instruct believers that such discipline is corrective in nature. When applied and received appropriately, verse 11 guarantees that it will produce the “peaceful fruits of righteousness” in the recipient.

When a child is faithfully, consistently, and appropriately corrected, even when corporal discipline must be employed, that correction centers on the unacceptable actions perpetrated by the child, and the child is reassured of parental love and acceptance of his person, he will respond appropriately. Any doubt and fear the child may experience will be wiped away and only peace and righteousness will remain.

 

Let’s Sum It Up.

Some of the parting words of Christianity Today are well taken, “…such means (spanking) should be employed miles short of abuse, without anger, and as an absolute last resort.” To those words I would add a hearty “Amen!” However, when they go beyond this and advocate the non-use of a clearly biblically prescribed disciplinary method by saying, “…we encourage parents to explore more creative and effective ways to train up our children in the way they should go,” they erred.

Corporal discipline (spanking) is not the only, let alone the primary, method of corrective child rearing for the Christian, but it is the only biblically prescribed tool of last resort. When done properly, out of love for the child and for the purpose of correcting unacceptable behavior, then it is a very effective and appropriate tool no Christian parent should ignore.