Mental Illness and the Church

Today is a sad day for Pastor Rick Warren, of Saddleback Church, and his wife, Kay. According to media reports, Pastor Warren released a statement (see below) Saturday to his staff informing them that his youngest son, Matthew Warren (27), took his own life last Friday. Official sources indicated a self-inflicted gunshot was the cause of death.

The death of Matthew Warren, I pray, will shove the issue of mental illness into the forefront of discussions among Church leaders. Like much of society, mental illness hasn’t been something the Christian Church has sought to address. We pray, we love, we seek healing, and we attempt to theologically “diagnose,” but we what we’re really doing is nothing. Ed Stetzer observes, in a special CNN blog dated 4/7/13, two very important things:

First, people with mental illness are often attracted to religion and the church, either to receive help in a safe environment or to live out the worst impulses of their mental illness.

Second, most congregations, sadly, have few resources for help.

Stetzer goes on to make what I believe are four insightful points regarding what the Church needs to do and be in relation to those individuals and families who battle mental illness every day. I summarize them below, with a few of my own comments, but challenge you to read Stetzer’s full post.

1.     “Churches need to stop hiding mental illness.” We need to stop sweeping it under the rug and spiritualizing it away and really face it head on.

2.     “The congregation should be a safe place for those who struggle.” Amen to that! Too often our churches are accepting of those exactly like we are and don’t want to admit our struggles and weaknesses. This is to our shame.

3.     “We should not be afraid of medicine.” There have been great strides in medicine in relation to mental health in recent years, but more understanding and research is needed. The Church is foolish to spiritualize mental health issues simplistically and think that every pastor and every Christian counselor within the church is fully competent to counsel a person or family living with mental health issues. As a pastor and a father of three children with a variety of special needs – including mental health issues, I can tell you that the overwhelming abundance of pastors are not only ill equipped to handle most mental health issues, we are severely under equipped.

4.     “We need to end the shame.” Too many times those with mental health issues are given the impression that struggling with such things is unspiritual or unchristian and so they remain silent and lose the help and support that a loving and accepting community of believers could provide. We need to end the shame on all sides and become the loving, accepting community God expects us to be.

I said earlier that I am father to three special needs children. I am, and proudly so. I have three of the most amazing, wonderful, loving kids in the world and wouldn’t trade them for anything. They are brilliant, loving, happy children who will surprise you at every turn. But they are not without their challenges; some of them right in the middle of the mental health realm. We face sensory processing issues, PTSD, attachment disorder, ADHD, disruptive/destructive behavior disorder, OCD tendencies and all of the chaos, pandemonium, learning, and behavioral issues that manifest in each of these areas every day. 

I was a youth pastor for five years and a senior pastor for another five before our first child was born. I counseled many in that time who struggled with mental health issues, either themselves or had a family member who did. I admit, in my arrogance, I counseled them when I should have referred them to someone who could have truly helped them with their mental health issue while I supported them spiritually. Since the birth of my three children (6, 3 ½, 2 ½) and my exposure to them and all of the care they have received and needed in their short lives thus far, my eyes are opening to the truth that mental health issues are much more prevalent in our churches than we know and that the Church, by and large, needs help in this arena. Young men like Matthew Warren need not lose their lives because we, the Church, are incompetent to help them when they need us the most. I realize we’re doing the best we can, but I know we can do better.

This topic is going to need to be discussed time and again by all of us who lead and shepherd God’s people. I pray we do the right things the right way and don’t simply do it the way we have always done it because that’s not working.

Below is the full text of Rick’s email to his staff. When I read it I wept for the silent pain the Warrens have endured over the last 27 years and for their loss at this time. Yet, I rejoiced that Matthew knew the Lord and was secure in that. (BTW – I know the issue of suicide for some Christians is a debated topic. Please don’t leave argumentative replies about that issue here. It would be insensitive and ignorant of you to do so, and they won't be approved anyway. I will, perhaps, address that topic at a later date.)

I challenge you to lift up the Warren family and Saddleback at this time. Then, maybe, approach your pastor and ask him what your church does to help those with mental health issues, volunteer to do some research, and then dive in and help birth a ministry unlike any other your church has ever birthed before. Imagine the impact your church could have in this area!

Pastor Rick Warren’s email to his staff:

Subject: Needing your prayers

To my dear staff,

Over the past 33 years we’ve been together through every kind of crisis. Kay and I’ve been privileged to hold your hands as you faced a crisis or loss, stand with you at gravesides, and prayed for you when ill. Today, we need your prayer for us.

No words can express the anguished grief we feel right now. Our youngest son, Matthew, age 27, and a lifelong member of Saddleback, died today.

You who watched Matthew grow up knew he was an incredibly kind, gentle, and compassionate man. He had a brilliant intellect and a gift for sensing who was most in pain or most uncomfortable in a room. He’d then make a bee-line to that person to engage and encourage them.

But only those closest knew that he struggled from birth with mental illness, dark holes of depression, and even suicidal thoughts. In spite of America’s best doctors, meds, counselors, and prayers for healing, the torture of mental illness never subsided. Today, after a fun evening together with Kay and me, in a momentary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.

Kay and I often marveled at his courage to keep moving in spite of relentless pain. I’ll never forget how, many years ago, after another approach had failed to give relief, Matthew said “Dad, I know I’m going to heaven. Why can’t I just die and end this pain?” but he kept going for another decade.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We love you back.

Pastor Rick